Yes, I beleive I did, in fact, fall of the face of the earth

I wish I had a great post, or felt that I could promise one to come... but sorry folks, I don't think so.

I do have a random funny moment I could share so that you might not feel as though you wasted your precious time checking in...

A friend from high school has, for her facebook profile, a picture of herself eating some cotton candy. Elseigh sees it and says "mom, what is she sucking?" I say "Oh, she's eating cotton candy, not sucking on anything." Her response--"Oh, I thought she was sucking on a diaper." (It was the light blue kind of cotton candy, by the way).

Laugh on.


Check it out!

I have to admit that, the first time I'd ever heard of the deep-fried twinkie, I was a bit shocked. Although I haven't tried one, I have an idea of why they are supposedly so great. And I also realize that deep-fried anything may not be a bad idea. But THIS, this is an entirely different matter.

Because I'm not entirely sure how to politely give credit where credit is due, I'm simply going to create a link for you to go directly over to a local Wichitan's blog. Let's just say, that if you ever have chocolate cravings, this will make you look at it in a whole knew way! Click here and let me know what you think!(Phew! I nearly forgot how to create a link!)


On the Hunt

There are reasons people work for the same company year after year, pushing papers in a job they hate. I suspect that one of those reasons is the fact that they know things really could be worse. They could be out looking for a job.

Now don't think that I'm trying to throw myself a giant pity party, I realize job searching isn't literally the worst thing in the world, at least, not yet. The process that was so seemingly simple in the table-waiting, burger-flipping side of the world, turns into a tangled mess of presumptions and questions: to call or not to call? to take an interview for a job on the bottom of the list? when to stop listing previous employers? required salary? who to ask for references? how to put on your best commercial at the interview?

Ugh. I dread the interview. I've honestly become quite skilled at interviewing---in my mind. Yet somehow, the live event never comes out so smoothly. You're supposed to sound too good to be true? Here's the part I just cannot wrap my brain around: I don't like marketing, I don't like scams, I'm just an honest girl trying to find an honest job with an honest company, why do you want me to pretend I'm better than sliced bread or a miracle working infomercial host? I think I'm exactly what you're looking for, I think I can do this job phenomenally, otherwise I would not have wasted your time applying! I'm not here to sing and dance, so please make up your mind and tell me what I don't have that another client does or that I'm your first candidate. If your turnover rate is high, tell me that, and I'll admit that my family comes first. If I come to the interview and I play the "what you see is what you get" card, you'll think I'm lazy and that I do not care about the position. If I sell myself too well, you'll think I'm a liar. I'm convinced you might think I'm a liar no matter how I sing and dance for you. I'm slowly learning that a large percentage of the world does not expect brutal honesty, at least not when money is involved. I'd like the job, please give it to me. Let's just try this for a month, that will work just fine, this isn't a marriage proposal. The pretentiousness of the job hunt is what I hate. We both know that I'm not perfect and the people I may soon be working for are not either. But instead of being honest about it, let's play a game--- and meanwhilte, we can all think of how great it was that time that our friend's uncle's brother's son just gave us that job/internship/gig. Sigh.

For now I will just keep hoping and praying that the perfect job will fall into my lap without losing too much sleep over it. Oh, and it would be nice if it was the first and only one I stumbled upon... but we're already past that point.

And for now, I'm grateful for the seat-warming, phone-answering job I do have; for these last two days.


one more thing.

Okay I lied, I have two things to note here.

From what I saw on all those "other" blogs, it didn't look like anyone was reading their posts, either. Phew. I can almost convince myself this really is an electronic journal!

And the other thing: we really need a camera.

utilizing brief periods of downtime

Over the last few weeks, while attempting to "work" (I am technically still working, since this "job" consists mainly of scanning volumes upon vloumes of journals into a computer, which involves a considerable amount of 15-20 second intervals of down time) I've come across some pretty terrific blogs. Unfortunately, I probably couldn't tell you their names/addresses or how I came across them. So many of them are beautiful poetic, and in languages I can't even identify. But you know what I realized was so great about the majority of them? The fact that they were sharing some of the most basic things about their life. It has just occurred to me that this ties into some of my thoughts more recently about how important relationships and connections are between people. Hmph.

On that note, instead of trying to say something profound, I think I'd rather share something a little more basic.

During the months of May and June, I did very little running (when I say run/running, it will always mean jog/jogging). Because of this, my feet did not hurt. And since my feet did not hurt, I started wearing traditional summer shoes: sandals, flip-flops, I even sported the occassional nude foot from time to time. What I did not realize, was that it would only take a few short runs to make me very sorry for not sporting my frumpy orthotics. After my 3-mile route this morning, I put my running shoes back on immediately.

And guess what I learned from google today? They actually make sandals I can use with my orthotics. And they don't even look like something my grandma used to wear!



Drive Carefully

I was driving to school yesterday, or work, err--both, since I work and go to school at school. Anyways. I was driving into the sun (that would be... yes, East). As I am traveling in the right lane, I see a lady on the sidewalk. She's tall, she's got something on her head, perhaps because it's not "fixed" and she is dressed casually (or maybe in her pajamas). I see her look my direction (left), but I'm pretty sure she hasn't seen me. She looks to her right and waits for the cars on the other side of the road as they come closer. Just as I am right in front of her, she begins to step out into the street as she looks at me. Our eyes locked and I am trying to figure out if I should swerve or slam on my brakes and inadvertantly do both. The giant leap towards me she has taken is harder for her to stop than she thought. But she manages to reverse her momentum, and as her wide eyes peer at mine we both manage to mouth the same giant word to each other: "SORRY!"

I was so grateful that this lady had the courage to mouth the word. She hadn't intended to risk her life, and because of that I suppose I just felt sorry that I had been right there at that time to scare the crap out of her! We certainly had a moment as I saw her life flash before her eyes.

At this point, I must admit that I have little understanding of road rage. It's not that I've never told someone they were an idiot for how they drive, because I have. I just don't see the point in getting SO angry about it.

And now that I think about it... I guess it really boils down to the fact that I don't have an anger issue. Hopefully anyone who is reasonably adjusted and moderately healthy on an emotional level has difficulty in understanding outrageous bursts of anger.

And that reminds me...This past weekend I took a therapy workshop for one wonderful hour of credit. Guess what it was called? Cognitive Therapy for Anger Management. It turns out that anger is a big issue, especially when you have compounding situations/history.

Perhaps we need to create some type of bumper-sticker system. From green to red or something, with about 4 levels. Green is for the polite and happy drivers, they might drive too slow, and the like to let people in. Yellow could be for someone like me, I might honk at you, but I'm probably not mad. I just want you to know that I didn't like that, you were about to hit me, or the light turned green. Orange could be for someone that just doesn't have too much patience in the car, they are always in a hurry and they might curse at you and show you the bird if you cut them off (on purpose or accident). Red would be for the crazys that might get out and punch/shoot(?) you if you take their parking space... or anyone with a history of violence or assault charges on their records.

The only problem is...

front or back bumper?


Before Another Month Rolls By...

As part of an assignment for class, I've been reading an excerpt from Goleman's Social Intelligence. The following quotes are at least part of why I've been trying to watch less television and decrease the amount of time I'm distracting my brain with various forms of technology:

"The one-person shell created by headphones intensifies social insulation. Even when the wearer has a one-on-one, face-to-face encounter, the sealed ears offer a ready excuse to treat the other person as an object, something to navigate around rather than someone to acknowledge, or at the very least, notice... To be sure, from the iPod wearer's perspective, he is relating to someone--the singer, the band... his heart beats as one with theirs. But these virtual others have nothing whatever to do with the people who are just a foot or two away... To the extent that technology absorbs people in virtual reality, it deadens them to those who are acutally nearby. The resulting social autism adds to the ongoing list of unintended human consequences of the coninuing invasion of technology into our daily lives."

Don't take this completely wrong, because here I am typing away into a virtual community---hoping someone is willing to spend a moment here. Connections via the internet are neither inherently bad nor are the film/tv/music industries. It seems to me that one of the bigger problems is our lack on intentionality. How many times have I simply sat down and let a few hours float by when I had planned on doing something more productive. Are there days/weeks that I've watched hours of re-runs only to realize I wished I would have found something more fulfiling to do with that time? After spending an evening with my husband in front of the TV, my brain has shut down. I may have sat next to him, physically nearby, but I cannot cultivate anything meaningful to say that would bridge the gap between us. The land of my mind would rather not be barren, it would rather reach and grow, and connect with the people around me.

Goleman includes a wise insight from T.S. Eliot, written in 1963; the television "permits millions of people to listen to the same joke at the same time, and yet remain lonesome."

So, if I don't have much to say for a while again... I hope it's because I'm filling my brain with a greater percentage of books and relationships--and on purpose!


Trying to do it all...

So I've been neglecting this blog for the entire first four months of this year. Any hopes I'd had of welcoming regular readers have faded. Gratefully, I'm okay with that.

In the last 3 months my husband/I: Found a great day-care. Bought a house. Stripped the wallpaper in 80% of the house. Painted. Packed. Moved. Started a part-time job. Trained for a half-marathon. Completed a half-marathon. Celebrated our daughter's third birthday.

I'm certain I could include other events, but those are the most apparent. Now, I'm faced with multiple wedding events on nearly every weekend until June, finals, and stripping/re-finishing dressers for the master bedroom. None of this is to say that I'm complaining, I suppose I'm just needing to publicly forgive myself for not writing as much as I'd like.

This week I've been focused on weeds and dead leaves, both physically and symbolically. To put it more quickly and bluntly than I'd like--- too many times we think we've dealt with a certain weed or we've raked out some dead leaves and we expect that they will never return. When we rake each fall or pluck up a weed, we never walk away assuming the work is completely done. So why would we ever assume the same could occur in us emotionally, spiritually or relationally?


laugh a little

Lately, I've been really blessed by laughter. So, before I head off to clean and pack and try to remember my lengthy to do list... I thought I'd insert the embarrassing story I mentioned from last semester and I will try to insert my new favorite laughter-inspiring video.

So in December, I had this paper I needed to turn in for a class in order to get credit from another college course.

I decided to take the elevator upstairs since I was walking with some friends and completely passed the stairs (thankfully they continued on without me).

As I was telling my friends "good-bye" I pushed the button for the elevator and waited by myself.

I looked down and the button was not lit.

"Hmmm" I say to myself, "I must have been distracted and didn't actually push the button..."

So I pushed it again and I looked to SEE that the light came on.

I waited a little while and the light shut off, AGAIN!


And just a then the light-bulb in my head went off...

I pushed the button again and my suspicions were confirmed.

The elevator door BEHIND me opened and closed...
3 TIMES!!!

Smiles and laughter welcome HERE .

time flies when...

So sadly, not only have I not been posting, but I never even noticed the comments about my disappearance.

Anyways, my world is rapidly changing. Slow enough that I'm doing really well, but too fast for me to blog about it all, at least at this point. Perhaps some of my difficulty in keeping up a blog is my desire to spend time writing in paper journals and notes as well as reading and thinking about things pertaining to school, family, self, and the many things that fascinate me about the world I've been placed in.

Developmentally, I think I'm coming to a place where I'm not so intimidated by the world to just be me. That's a good place to be and a place where I hope each of you are and can be.

So the only reason I signed in today (Hooray! I even remembered my password, but I have no recollection about how to email blogs anymore!) was to share a (somewhat corny) anecdote from a book I'm reading called One Month to Live by Kerry and Chris Shook. The book is meant to be read over 30 days and is basically what it sounds like, questions to ask yourself and things to do today to help you live in a way that you make use of each moment God gives you. Anyways.

The excerpt: "I once heard about a guy who went to the doctor to get the results of his annual physical. His doctor met with him and said, 'I'm sorry, Bob. I've got some bad news for you. The tests shows...you only have six months to live.' Bob let the news sink in and asked, 'Is there anything I can do...' The doctor thought for a moment and said, 'There is one thing. You can move to the country and buy a pig farm and raise pigs. Then you can find a widow who has fourteen or fifteen kids, marry her, and bring all of them to live with you on the pig farm.' Bob looked puzzled and said, 'And that will help me live longer?' The doctor said, 'No, but it will seem like the longest six months of your life!'"

Some periods of our life go by faster than we have time to realize we're in them, others seem to be unending and arduous.

I think the story may mean more by my commenting less.

Have a great one!