God's love is in the struggle.
God loves me in the middle of the pain and in my anxiousness.
God loves despite my fear, lack of trust and confusion.
God's love is in the "no."
His love is amidst the busyness and meandering.
His love is in the waiting.
It's there. It's always, always right there. My attitude, feelings and emotions are as fickle as the weather. But God's love for me never changes. He's not just kind and caring, but constantly, compassionately head-over-heels jealous for each of us. Love that's neither humanly possible nor fathomable. His love for me is insatiable.
Now will I trust this? Will I walk in a way that shows I know this is true? Learning about God's love and hearing the truth is far from actually living within it. But I do believe that He longs to show us all how even the most painful and frustrating situations are full of His beautiful plan. And you know what, even when you're not happy about it and you want to throw a big ol' fit about it, He's not like I am as a parent (which would mean telling you to stop crying because He's frustrated with your lack of maturity). Nope, He's ready to hold you and He's ready to show you more of His heart and His plan. He's gentle and reassuring. Or if it's what you need, He is a kick-in-the-pants and a source of constant reassurance.
Oddly enough, before I ever had a chance to share any of this with anyone, something in my own little world changed. Something I was having a hard time being hopeful about. But something HE truly wanted to show me He had had a plan about all along. Something I'm not going to go into detail about just yet because I want to dwell on all the times He was loving on me before I had any answers. All the months I was grappling and struggling and crying out, the times I was trusting and obedient--as well as the times I was as mature as a screaming toddler, that whole time---He was right there loving me close-up.
Wherever you are in the process of praying for a change, hoping and begging for it, praying for a change-of-heart and an open mind to what He has in store, don't think that He's not loving you in every
He loves us just as much when He says "No," as He does when He says "Not now" or "Yes." My circumstances do nothing to change Him, despite the way satan wants my circumstances to distort my view of Him. So let's trust and know that despite how cloudy and dark your days might be (or get), His love is there, and He's not going to leave you there. He is trustworthy. He is Holy.